I slept through New Years Eve because the boys were spending the holiday with their father, and I was recovering from a head cold.
At least, I tried to sleep through the departure of 2018 (I’ve waited all year for this year to end). 2018 didn’t deserve a celebration in my opinion. I intended to sleep it out and pretend it never happened.
However, shortly after midnight on January 1st, 20 and blessed be 19, my ex-husband dropped the kids off at my home and as they ran to my room, where I was comfortably wrapped in blankets and cushioned in my nest of pillows dreaming of brighter days ahead, they began yelling, “Happy New Years, mom!”
I jolted up, disoriented and confused, before I remembered what was going on as the boys jumped into my bed. I laughed and I loved it, but at the same time, in my half-awakened state, I started plotting ways to get revenge on the ex as I hugged and kissed my boys. A moment later, as my senses came online with full wakefulness, I remembered that an “Enlightened” person doesn’t plot revenge on their ex-spouse, no matter what kind of jerk-move he may make.
“In God’s hands,” I muttered sending the thoughts away as I wished my boys a happy new year as well. They were there but a few moments before they ran back to their dad who was waiting in his car.
Truly, I am grateful that Ex was thoughtful enough to let me see the boys for the New Year. I will have to do something nice in return for the Ex. After all, his birthday is coming up. Be nice, get nice back.
I think the best part of the New Year is getting up early on the first day of the year and making plans for the rest of the year. I will admit it, I have ambitious goals for myself that include:
- Losing the weight (all 30 lbs of it!) I gained during my illness last year – which lasted most of the year I might add.
- Learning to dance the Tango – amazing mind/body benefit there.
- Resuming my membership with Toastmasters – to build my confidence again.
- Hiking to the top of Mt. Timpanogos – to conquer that mountain on my own and over-write the memories of the last time I was there.
- And get a boyfriend (I had to force myself to make that a goal – to be honest). I’m still hurting from the failure of my last relationship in the Great Year of Loss. It still hurts. I still cry. But, I know that I just have to keep getting back on that horse till I learn to master it. I’m not going to quit or give up on having a successful relationship with someone before I die!
I have other goals that I am still working on and will be working on throughout the rest of time it feels like, but what good is living, if you don’t give yourself something awesome to do to pass the time?
Happy New Year!